You might be a redneck if….in May07

I swear I work with some rednecks at times….

• Your most encouraging words are “Don’t touch that, Dipstick!”
• Your church has a “happy hour”
• Your primary source of income is a pool stick
• Your buddies ask if you want to see pictures of your wife naked and they’re not kidding
• The centrepiece of your landscaping used to get 25 miles per gallon
• The police have had to talk to you about your bonfires
• Starting your car involves popping your hood
• Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays
• You’ve ever passed an afternoon by watching other people get their hair cut
• You whistle at women at church
• You inherited a toilet plunger
• You have no idea how many pets you have
• You can’t find your lawnmower
• You’ve ever accepted an invitation written on a bathroom wall
• You hold the hood of your car open with your head while you work on it
• You use a bungee cord as a seat belt
• There’s a belch on your answering machine greeting
• Your neighbour has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer
• You get mail sent to a PO Box because you can’t pronounce your street name
• You’ve ever had to move a car seat to make love
• Bass Pro Shop is forced to garnish your paycheck
• You think “wireless communication” means yelling across your front yard
• The most valuable part of your truck/car is the gas in the tank
• You’ve ever proposed over a pay phone
• You don’t go anywhere without a siphon hose
• You disguise your voice when answering the phone

You might be a redneck if….in Apr07

Thank Foxworthy for another good month of redneck indicators

• The uninvited guests at your family reunion were the SWAT team
• You’ve ever given a full set of NASCAR plastic cups as a wedding present
• You regularly check the brake lights on your house
• You’ve ever swapped shirts with a scarecrow
• The box your TV came in has also served as a clubhouse, a laundry basket, and a playpen
• Your yard has more than ten ceramic figurines
• Nobody else will touch your favourite cap
• The flowers in your bridal bouquet were plastic
• You always cancel the subscription and keep the free gift
• You’ve accidentally injured one of your relatives with a flying toenail
• There are crawfish in your home aquarium
• People drive by your house to look at your Christmas lights in April
• Part of your parole states that you are not allowed to own sheep
• Your wedding dress was leather
• You ever took a deerskin to a dry cleaners
• You taught your 3-year-old to give Jeff Gordon “the finger”
• You’ve skipped work for a sidewalk sale
• Your old washing machine is your new doghouse
• You think your dog is “house-trained” because that is the only place he will go
• You wrap up your older children’s outgrown underwear to give your younger child for his birthday
• Your local beauty salon also fixes cars
• The only thing that you have ever hit with a baseball bat is a mailbox
• You think the four seasons are onion, salt, pepper & garlic
• Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet
• You win the pickled egg-eating contest and nobody in your family will ride home with you
• You and six of your neighbours split a cable bill

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month – October

 It would be prudent of me to mention that October is the month of National Breast Cancer Awareness – and I’m sure many other causes as well – however, being female and having had several friends and family members who have been diagnosed with this god-awful disease, I suppose Breast Cancer is a little closer to my heart…literally

So anyway, I would like to share one friends’ lucky escape story with you, and to do my part for Breast Cancer Awareness.  If you would like to know more, you can visit the National Breast Cancer Foundation.

Please show your support for this worthy cause by making a donation or by buying any Pink Ribbon merchandise online, or from a newsagent or supermarket near you.  Other products that support the foundation are listed on NBCF’s website, so consider changing your brand or stocking up on items next time you do a grocery shop.

I will be hosting a Pink Ribbon Morning Tea at my workplace to help raise funds.

Children Growing Up

Yesterday was a sad day indeed…OK so maybe I’m being a little melodramatic, but in all honesty I was feeling a little depressed.  Caleb left for a 10-day holiday at his Dad’s in Katherine.  Caleb is only 8 and this is the first time he’s spent an extended period of time with his Dad without Grandma & Poppy there.  It’s also the first time Caleb has flown by himself….I believe Qantas call this an “unaccompanied minor”, which sounds so clinical.  In all the weeks/months leading up to the trip I was fine, I was excited in fact, both for Caleb and myself because I get a break as well.  Even driving to the airport was still fun and exciting, but when it came time to check Caleb in it all went downhill very fast. 

No one gave us clear guidance on what was to be done (as there’s special paperwork and protocol for “unaccompanied minors”), and I’m a person who likes clear guidance in unfamiliar situations.  This made me a little upset, but I soon got over it. 

Then came the time for good-byes, and the way I was feeling you would swear that my baby was going forever…the tears starting welling up in my eyes, so I dropped the sunnies back on to hide the emotion from Caleb, and that dreaded lump in the throat started to develop, making it hard to say what I needed to say without him realising that I was upset.  Finally, the flight attendant leads him down the gangway, having a chat the whole way….he didn’t even turn around to wave good-bye.  I know I just have to accept that he his growing up and knowing Caleb he was probably trying to chat up the lovely flight attendant….but it’s still hard to swallow.

For the rest of the day I was feeling blue….

TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY

Today, Wednesday 19th September is International Talk Like a Pirate Day….

 Skuttle me skippers, I should be sayin “Ahoy ye landlubbers.  Join me in a merry yarn while we be settin’ sail upon the seas….aaaarrrggghh”

 Here in the vast land of Australia ye all can support those wee youngin’s struck down by cancer, as we be usin’ Talk Like A Pirate Day to raise pieces of gold for this worthy cause. If ye be livin’ in the fair state of Queensland and ye be wantin’ to purchase pirate merchandise, be doin’ so from all particpatin’ Queensland Newsagents or Childhood Cancer Support Inc. direct.  Or if ye be makin’ yer life in other states, then ye can be makin’ yer purchase from Kids Cancer Support Australia Foundation Ltd.

Or if ye just want to be spreadin’ the word about Children’s Cancer Awareness or be a squiffy for a day, then start yer swashbucklin’ and learn yeself the lingo.  Then get out thar ye scurvy dog, and find yeself a pretty wench to share yer sweet trade!

BLOG ACTION DAY – 15 OCTOBER 2007

I’m not going to say too much on this topic, other than it’s one day where all bloggers unite and post an entry about the environment, in an effort to increase awareness.  Pete has more to say so check it out….

http://www.dodgypete.com/index.php/2007/09/11/blog-action-day/

Dixie Chicks Shut Up and Sing

My friend Vicky likes a bit of country & western music which I have always found strange, but each to their own I suppose.  She had been telling me about the Dixie Chicks and a DVD they have out, called Shut Up & Sing, and she’s been trying to convince me that it looks really good.  I had my doubts, as I don’t really like the Dixie Chicks music, and I wasn’t shy about letting her know this. 

So, it wasn’t until she sent me a link to the movie trailer that I actually thought, “OK, I should at least watch it before I start saying how terrible it is”, and I must say I was pleasantly surprised. 

It doesn’t appear to be a straight music DVD like I initially thought, but more documentary style where the focus is on the series of events that followed the fateful comment by the girls at one of their concerts, “we’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas”. 

Let it be known that I won’t be rushing out to buy the DVD , but as soon as Vicky gets it, I will be borrowing it, and I will then post an entry with an educated opinion on the full story.

Dodgy pics of not-so-superstars

I was sent an email a few days agao which had a selection of pictures attached, all photoshopped images of what stars would look like if they weren’t stars (there’s some interesting interpretations). They all came from www.planethiltron.com  I won’t post the pics, you can just check out the site for yourself as there are many more that weren’t emailed to me.

Weekend of absolute nothingness

Last week was a long week at work, so by the time the weekend came I didn’t feel like doing too much.  I was looking forward to a couple of days of sitting on the couch doing pretty much nothing.  On friday Pete suggested we try something called the Scoot Game….it’s a scavenger hunt making use of local tourist type attractions such as Southbank Parklands, the Museum et al, all in the interest of the Brisbane River Festival.  Sounds like lots of fun, but also requiring a bit more energy than I had on the weekend.  Hopefully they’ll do run this activity again next year so we can give it a go.

So as it turned out, this weekend was a relaxing one just as I had planned.  We watched plenty of movies, did the housework and had a couple of nanna naps.  The weekend started on Friday night when Pete, Mum & I went to see The Bourne Ultimatum:  Great film….as good as, or possibly even better than the first two.

Saturday consisted of:

Smokin’ Aces, which I really enjoyed.  Lots of twists and turns in the story line, and plenty of shooting action.  Pete and I had a different opinions on this film, but I don’t believe I’m quite as critical as he is, and I also really like this style of film, where there’s plenty of characters introduced throughout the film, and they all cross paths and their  stories interwine by the end.  Plenty of medium-big names in this film, and fun to see if you can pick them all out throughout the movie.

The Machinist - strange but good.  This film is a little dark, and you’ll find it hard to believe that the star is really Christian Bale.  If you’re one of those people who enjoys mainstream blockbusters then this film is probably not for you.

Next…here’s one of the better films I saw over the weekend.  Nicholas Cage co-produced and starred in this one about a Las Vegas magician who can see into the future and is wanted by the FBI to help stop a terrorist attack of nuclear proportions.  The film is shot really well, and sometimes you’ll not be sure whether the scene is really happening or if it’s one of his visions, but that’s all part of the attraction. 

The Contract – John Cusack and Morgan Freeman star in this film about a father (Cusack) and son, who go camping in an attempt to “bond”, and end up taking custody of a wanted assassin (Freeman) and try to return him to the authorities.  Enough action to keep the film going and story line has enough twist in it to keep you watching.  Enjoyable movie, but I would probably only put it about half way down your “to see” list.

Sunday movies then included:

The Fountain – starring Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz.  This was a really good film.  I’ll have to steal Pete’s phrase here as he hit the nail right on the head….it’s “spectacularly beautiful”.  There’s a slightly sombre feel to this story but it leaves you with a sense of spiritual elevation by the end.  A definite “must see”!

Last but not least…Robots – Caleb has owned this DVD for a while now, and he’s watched it several times, but Pete andI have only just gotten around to watching it, and as far as animated films go, this one was quite good.  I really like when kids films include a good moral lesson, without trying to hammer it in to them.  The message in this story was subtle enough that I didn’t want to turn it off, the animation was great and plenty of big names…once again, fun to try and pick the voices.  The trashy humour and subtle jokes directed toward adults keeps in interesting for the parents.  Another good film to add to the ever-growing list of animated greats. 

You might be a redneck if….in Mar07

March 2007 rednecks will be nodding their heads in agreeance….

• Your wife’s work uniform has no top
• Your grandmother tried to hit a highway worker with a beer can
• You buy your cough medicine at the liquor store
• You go to the laundromat to pick up women
• Your doorbell is a dog
• Your landscape gardening features cattle skulls
• You think “dinner reservations” means they’ve seen your wife cooking
• You signed your marriage license on the hood of a car
• You traded your truck for a dog
• The grocery store manager has to ask your husband to quit harassing the lobsters
• You invite all your relatives over to see your new ceiling fan
• You test your car battery with your tongue
• You dress to impress no one
• Your honeymoon transportation was Greyhound
• Your wedding pictures have a propane tank in the background
• Your favourite pet is edible
• The diving contest at the family reunion was ruined because your pool went flat
• You idea of “getting lucky” is passing the emissions test
• The last time you went swimming they had to use the boat ramp to get you out of the lake
• You join a record club under a fake name
• Your hood ornament is a duck decoy
• The owner of a restaurant had to ask you to “please move away from the salad bar before you start eating”
• You often find stray animals in your living room
• You pick your friends based on their ownership of jumper cables