Frozen in Grand Central Station

Check out this clip from maniacworld.com

Frozen in Grand Central Station, New York.  More than 200 people prank the public by freezing at the same moment.  Everyone around them was completely stumped and in awe at was happening.

You might be a redneck if…in Sep 07

• You’ve ever participated in a burp-off
• You own ever Boxcar Willie album
• Your school bus carried a radar detector
• Your plumbing makes poltergeist noises
• Your third-grade class had a no-smoking section
• There is a restraining order on your pets
• You lost money betting on the Lingerie Bowl
• The emergency room nurse knows everyone in your family by name
• The pizza delivery man won’t come to your house without bringing the police with him
• Drying your clothes depends upon the weather
• Everything you won at the fair is hanging from your rearview mirror
• You have grease under your toenails
• You work without your shirt on and so does your husband
• You think truffles are a brand of potato chips
• You’re running a business from a pay phone
• You can count to eleven on your fingers
• A significant portion of your income is spent on table dances
• The auto junkyard calls you to get spare parts
• Your TV remote control is your son, Junior
• A different cat sleeps on your head each night
• Every time the wind blows, you find shingles in your yard
• You’ve ever told a bride, “You clean up pretty good.”
• Your most expensive bottle of liquor doesn’t have a label
• The church social committee is afraid to meet at your house
• You bum a dip from your mother

You might be a redneck if……in Aug 07

OK, so I know it’s been a while since my last post, but Christmas and the period leading up to it were a bit busy, so for that I apologise, but here’s the next installment of Jeff Foxworthy’s redneck quotes….

• You have ever emptied the bed of your truck by driving backwards real fast and slamming on the brakes
• You’ve been to the emergency room more than three times to have a fish hook removed
• The palmolive you soak your hands in also has dirty dishes in it
• The only cordless phone in your house is the one that your wife ripped out of the wall when she caught you talking to your girlfriend
• You have a prescription for antiperspirant
• Your air conditioner is louder than your TV
• You think “going back to your roots” means growing the peroxide out
• You have a Hefty bag for a passenger-side window
• You follow the tractor pull circuit
• You have a full set of salad bowls that all say “Cool Whip” on the side of them
• You’ve ever hunted within twenty yards of your child’s swing set
• You’ve been asked to leave a yard sale
• You are using a Twister mat as a shower curtain
• You think “megabytes” means a good day fishing
• Your favourite actor is E.T.
• There are more dishes in your sink than there are in your cabinets
• The air freshener hanging in your car lost it’s scent more than five years ago
• Your idea of family planning is figuring out the chain of hand-me-downs
• Stealing road signs is a family outing
• You favourite “adult beverage” doubles as gas for your car
• You’ve never stayed at a hotel without stealing something
• The hedge around your house is full of empty beer cans
• Tires were featured in your divorce settlement
• Someone is permanently staying on your couch
• Your car ashtray is so packed you can’t get it out
• Your previous two homes are rotting in your back pasture

Customer Service

Anyone who has worked in a customer service position would possibly have received a letter of this nature at some point in time, but this is a cracker.  This person was unhappy with their webhosting provider (Melbourne IT)…..a typical story of a large organisation not looking after the little guy (anyone who’s had to deal with Telstra will know how this feels). 

The thing I like about this letter is the fact that it was written (and sent) in the first place, because too many people will cancel services and/or boycott an establishment or organisation, then spread the word about how terrible the company is….and we all know that “word of mouth” is the best (or worst as it may be) form of advertising.  However, this doesn’t give the company an opportunity to improve their processes….so my recommendation is, if you’re really unhappy with a service you receive from anywhere, then let them know in writing.  Sure one letter probably won’t make a difference but if everyone started doing this when they’re not getting the service required, then companies would be forced to start looking at their failings…and for those of you who aren’t aware, most companies keep a file of all written customer complaints…. Continue reading »

Shut Up & Sing – Dixie Chicks

OK, so I finally watched the Dixie Chicks’ documentary called Shut Up & Sing.  My verdict…..it was an eye opener.  I enjoyed the documentary even though I’m not that keen on their music.  To be honest, I could empathise with the girls and their families after seeing it, and it almost (note I said almost) made me want to go out and buy all their albums just to support them.

 I think half the problem lies in the ignorance of Americans and their believing that the USA is the centre of the universe.  When Natalie said “we’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas”, I believe it was a simple but naive statement made to express their stance on the war in Iraq.  The American Constitution, 1st Amendment states:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

And yet, here is a bunch of redneck yanks boycotting the Dixie Chicks because of one comment.  Now don’t get me wrong, I think that the 9-11 terror attacks were a great tragedy, however, they were not the first nor will they be the last, so I am with the ‘Chicks’ on this one…..President George W Bush is an ignorant clown.  While I support the troops that are fighting in the war, I do not agree with the fact that they are there in the first place.  OK, just let me get down off my high horse and stop crowing about my stance on the war, and I shall get back to the purpose of this blog post.

Shut Up & Sing was an interesting snapshot of the Dixie Chicks and their career thus far.  Whilst I still probably won’t buy and listen to their music, I wish them all the best in what they do and hope that they don’t lose the will to speak freely.

You might be a redneck if….in Jul07

• The post office discontinues your service because the mailman keeps getting stuck in your driveway
• You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws
• People come to your door thinking you have an auto salvage business
• You can ruin a pair of shoes in one wearing
• Every time you attempt to put your boat on your trailer, a crowd gathers to watch
• You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill
• The oil stain in your driveway is bigger than your car
• Your current wife was a bridesmaid at your first wedding
• There is a picture of you, in your wedding dress, holding a stringer of fish
• You had to wear hip waders to get to your honeymoon love shack
• You’ve ever shot a beer can while someone else was drinking out of it
• You call your boss “dude”
• You showed pictures of your latest deer at the funeral home
• You get poison ivy, chigger bites, and fleas just walking to your mailbox
• Your TV is on 24/7
• Nothing in your refrigerator was purchased at a store
• The flood history of your area can be seen on your living room walls
• The only newspapers you read are sold in the checkout line of the grocery store
• You’ve ever worn a suit from Chess King to a funeral
• You keep a can of Raid on your kitchen table
• Your two best friends are named Skeeter and Possum
• You think the ability to hold on to a job is overrated
• The grarbage truck mistakenly takes your lawn furniture
• You’ve ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies
• Any of your front room furniture is inflatable
• You have a photo of yourself with a prize-winning vegetable
• Your five-year-old can rebuild a carburetor

You might be a redneck if…..in Jun07

My favourite is the tank top….I wonder if Jeff Foxworthy is speaking from experience when he comes up with these.

• You actually wear shoes your dog brought home
• The last time you took your wife to the movies, she had to hide in the truck
• You’ve ever used hairspray to kill flying bugs
• You deliberately run over other people’s golf balls with your golf cart
• You’ve ever FedExed beef jerky
• You have a relative living in your garage
• Half of your car is a Cadillac
• Your mobile home has a loft
• Your toothbrush is a hand-me-down
• Your anniversasry dinner included pickled pig’s feet
• You’ve ever relieved yourself in your neighbour’s yard
• You’ve ever worked in your garden with a kitchen fork
• Your dad taught you how to elude a pack of trailing bloodhounds
• You’ve ever gotten carbon monoxide poisoning while driving your vehicle
• Your standard of living improves when you go camping
• The only thing not rusted in your yard is the pinwheels on either side of the driveway
• You’ve ever been hunting on a tractor
• You have a fence in your yard but it’s not up
• You’ve driven over 100 miles to look at a hog
• You’ve ever vacationed in a rest area
• Your mother thinks you should have become a surgeon because of the ease and confidence you have with the deep-fat fryer
• Your grandmother wears a tank top without a bra
• Your high school graduation was the headline of the local paper

Australian Idol

Is it just me or does everyone believe that the judges on Australian Idol are going crazy?  Now to start off on the wrong foot, I really like Kyle! Oh yeah, you heard me right….I like Kyle.  OK, I’m aware that sometimes he’s a little obnoxious, and probably a bit ruder than is necessary.  However, it is in my opinion that Kyle simply says it how it is….eg.  he may not have the musical talent of Mark Holden & Marcia Hines and he may not have the business knowledge in the music industry like Dicko, but he certainly knows what he likes (albeit the pretence that he believes in the talents of his wife Tamara Jaber…she’s hot and that’s what he really believes in), and what a radio station will play.  Not to say that he likes everything that’s on the radio, but it is my belief that Kyle says what he believes the rest of the public are thinking. 

And in any case, the show tonight was not about Kyle but about all the judges.  It was an hour and a half of contradictions.  At the beginning of the show, the judges told us that they expected the contestants to show us what type of artist they want to be.  The first person who comes to mind from tonight’s show is Marty.  Now it has been clear through the competition that his preferred style is more reggae-easy listening Jack Johnson-style.  He brought this to the forefront with tonight’s version of Cowded House’s Now We’re Getting Somehwere…his arrangement was perfect for his style and he is so comfortable doing what he does.  I think Marty has kept his own style through the whole of the competition…as I recall he reggaed up “You Sexy Thing” on disco night. But the judges clearly indicated that he’s not showing us what type of artist he wants to be……JUDGES, ARE YOU DEAF??????  But seriously if Marty released an album tomorrow I would buy it….so my recommendation is with Dicko – don’t vote for him, he’s too good for this competition and Oz Idol will only package and market him wrong….let him get out in the real world and do his own thing….Marty will make it if someone will sign him.

Next in the firing line was Natalie….now I have to admit that I was chatting through the first half of her performance, so perhaps I missed the ever-so-important part of the performance that the judges were crapping on about….the second half of her rendition of “My Endless Love” was awesome, and yet the judges absolutely hammered her.

Matt Corby…what a great arrangement of “Another Day in Paradise”.  I must say that, although Phil Collins may be a great musician, he bores me a little….but Matt brought something new to this song, and I enjoyed it immensely.  Matt has to be the most mature 16-yr-old I’ve ever seen (I would say met but of course I haven’t actually met him).  Another one who is too good for this comeptition and needs to get out and get someone else to sign him because Oz Idol will ruin him.

Carl is the King of Swing.  Mark’s comments about Carl being a one-trick-wonder is ever so wrong….he said something along the lines of Carl not showing us what type of artist he wants to be, and he should have tried to arrange the song to suit himself…..as I recall Carl has consistently shown (and told) us that he wants to be the next Harry Connick Jr or Michael Buble….and I have no problem with that.  What Mark Holden obviously fails to recall is Carl’s fantastic arrangement of Waltzing Matilda, turning an age-old boring Aussie folk song into a hip swing version that I would actually listen to.  And given that Carl doesn’t have the same musical experience (and by this I mean singing-songwriting) as some of the other contestants, I think he’s done a bang-up job, and Idol is the right competition for Carl.

Tarisai….poor old Tarisai.  She has a fantastic voice but absolutely no personality….the judges continously comment on the Tarisai they know behind the scenes, but we never get to see this person. Is it a case of split personality?  Who knows, but unless she starts bringing some of that character to the stage, she’ll never make it in the music industry.  Perhaps she should save her wonderful voice for church.

Daniel, Daniel, Daniel.  What the hell is he still doing in the competition?!  I remember watching right through the audition process and when he got into the semi-finals I was pleased…I thought he had a bit of character and sang well.  Until the fateful day when he sang Diesel’s “Right on the Tip of my Tongue” and claimed it was one of his favourite songs of all time.  Then when Holden said something about the poor job he did of it, Daniel bites back with “I’ve really only heard the song a few times”…come on Mr People-Pleaser, who in their right mind would believe that bullshit?  If I claim I have a favourite song, I can guarantee I’ve listened to it 100 times or more…especially one as old as that.  It was at this time that I started to see straight through Daniel and his chameleon ways….

Ben….ok this one will be brief as I was in the next room listening but not watching Ben’s performance.  I thought it was average. Ben has had some good nights and some great nights, but this week just didn’t quite cut it….probably not good enough for the show to be honest, but I quite like him and believe that he has a beautiful voice.  I just hope he gets another chance to prove himself.

Balls Out Jeans Commercial

I tend to think I’m a bit of a clown.  I like acting the goat, being a smart arse, paying out on people and just generally being silly.  However, I also notice that I don’t laugh out loud much when I’m looking/watching something funny on my own.  For example, if I’m in a group environment and we’re watching some sort of comedy show or movie, chances are I’ll crack up with laughter, but when I’m on my own it’s a very different story….I tend to laugh “on the inside”. 

So I know I’ve found a real cracker when I’m sitting by myself and something makes me laugh out loud…..and this is a prime example.  You just have to check out the Balls Out Jeans Commercial

 Granted the acting is terrible, but I’m pretty sure the clip is not about the quality of actors

What engineers do on their days off

This clip is a bit lengthy, but worth a watch….I can’t believe how much time and effort would have been put into this and cannot even begin to fathom living in the house during the period of erection, given that this is no one day job.

http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/player.swf?b=10&l=197&u=ILLUMllSOOAvIF//P_LxP92A42lCHCeeWCejXnHAS/c