You might be a redneck if…..in Oct 07

It makes me wonder how Jeff Foxworthy managed to come up with enough scenarios for one year, let alone several…

• The velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway
• You’ve ever changed your baby on the hood of a car
• Your favourite topless bar is the one where your daughters work
• Your primary income involves pigs or manure
• You think “Chablis” is the name of last month’s Playboy centrefold
• Your dogs are still chasing your car a mile down the road
• You own all the components of a soap-on-a-rope except the soap
• You can tell your car is low on oil by looking at the garage floor
• The only vegetable in your diet is the pickle on a Big Mac
• You’ve ever shot at a NO HUNTING sign
• The passengers enter your vehicle through the driver’s-side door
• All of your cousins are kissing cousins
• The receipt for your car’s tune-up is more than two pages long
• Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve
• All of your golf balls come in an egg carton
• You’ve ever laid rubber while traveling in a funeral procession
• Your living room curtains are beach towels (or sheets)
• You were born with a plastic spoon in your mouth
• You taught your children how to play “Pull My Finger”
• Your best coon hound gets a birthday present and your wife doesn’t
• You cut your toenails in front of company
• Your car is permanently covered in paw prints
• You have Mason jars with stuff the FBI can’t identify
• You list “staring” as one of your hobbies
• You dated your daddy’s current wife in high school
• You have no hubcaps on your car because you’re using them to feed your hunting dogs
• You’ve ever ordered a bucket of skin from KFC

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