You might be a redneck if…in Sep 07

February 13th, 2008
  • You’ve ever participated in a burp-off
  • You own ever Boxcar Willie album
  • Your school bus carried a radar detector
  • Your plumbing makes poltergeist noises
  • Your third-grade class had a no-smoking section
  • There is a restraining order on your pets
  • You lost money betting on the Lingerie Bowl
  • The emergency room nurse knows everyone in your family by name
  • The pizza delivery man won’t come to your house without bringing the police with him
  • Drying your clothes depends upon the weather
  • Everything you won at the fair is hanging from your rearview mirror
  • You have grease under your toenails
  • You work without your shirt on and so does your husband
  • You think truffles are a brand of potato chips
  • You’re running a business from a pay phone
  • You can count to eleven on your fingers
  • A significant portion of your income is spent on table dances
  • The auto junkyard calls you to get spare parts
  • Your TV remote control is your son, Junior
  • A different cat sleeps on your head each night
  • Every time the wind blows, you find shingles in your yard
  • You’ve ever told a bride, “You clean up pretty good.”
  • Your most expensive bottle of liquor doesn’t have a label
  • The church social committee is afraid to meet at your house
  • You bum a dip from your mother

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