You might be a redneck if……in Aug 07
January 2nd, 2008
OK, so I know it’s been a while since my last post, but Christmas and the period leading up to it were a bit busy, so for that I apologise, but here’s the next installment of Jeff Foxworthy’s redneck quotes….
- You have ever emptied the bed of your truck by driving backwards real fast and slamming on the brakes
- You’ve been to the emergency room more than three times to have a fish hook removed
- The palmolive you soak your hands in also has dirty dishes in it
- The only cordless phone in your house is the one that your wife ripped out of the wall when she caught you talking to your girlfriend
- You have a prescription for antiperspirant
- Your air conditioner is louder than your TV
- You think “going back to your roots” means growing the peroxide out
- You have a Hefty bag for a passenger-side window
- You follow the tractor pull circuit
- You have a full set of salad bowls that all say “Cool Whip” on the side of them
- You’ve ever hunted within twenty yards of your child’s swing set
- You’ve been asked to leave a yard sale
- You are using a Twister mat as a shower curtain
- You think “megabytes” means a good day fishing
- Your favourite actor is E.T.
- There are more dishes in your sink than there are in your cabinets
- The air freshener hanging in your car lost it’s scent more than five years ago
- Your idea of family planning is figuring out the chain of hand-me-downs
- Stealing road signs is a family outing
- You favourite “adult beverage” doubles as gas for your car
- You’ve never stayed at a hotel without stealing something
- The hedge around your house is full of empty beer cans
- Tires were featured in your divorce settlement
- Someone is permanently staying on your couch
- Your car ashtray is so packed you can’t get it out
- Your previous two homes are rotting in your back pasture