You might be a redneck if….in Jul07

• The post office discontinues your service because the mailman keeps getting stuck in your driveway
• You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws
• People come to your door thinking you have an auto salvage business
• You can ruin a pair of shoes in one wearing
• Every time you attempt to put your boat on your trailer, a crowd gathers to watch
• You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill
• The oil stain in your driveway is bigger than your car
• Your current wife was a bridesmaid at your first wedding
• There is a picture of you, in your wedding dress, holding a stringer of fish
• You had to wear hip waders to get to your honeymoon love shack
• You’ve ever shot a beer can while someone else was drinking out of it
• You call your boss “dude”
• You showed pictures of your latest deer at the funeral home
• You get poison ivy, chigger bites, and fleas just walking to your mailbox
• Your TV is on 24/7
• Nothing in your refrigerator was purchased at a store
• The flood history of your area can be seen on your living room walls
• The only newspapers you read are sold in the checkout line of the grocery store
• You’ve ever worn a suit from Chess King to a funeral
• You keep a can of Raid on your kitchen table
• Your two best friends are named Skeeter and Possum
• You think the ability to hold on to a job is overrated
• The grarbage truck mistakenly takes your lawn furniture
• You’ve ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies
• Any of your front room furniture is inflatable
• You have a photo of yourself with a prize-winning vegetable
• Your five-year-old can rebuild a carburetor

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