You might be a redneck if….in May07
October 9th, 2007
I swear I work with some rednecks at times….
- Your most encouraging words are “Don’t touch that, Dipstick!”
- Your church has a “happy hour”
- Your primary source of income is a pool stick
- Your buddies ask if you want to see pictures of your wife naked and they’re not kidding
- The centrepiece of your landscaping used to get 25 miles per gallon
- The police have had to talk to you about your bonfires
- Starting your car involves popping your hood
- Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays
- You’ve ever passed an afternoon by watching other people get their hair cut
- You whistle at women at church
- You inherited a toilet plunger
- You have no idea how many pets you have
- You can’t find your lawnmower
- You’ve ever accepted an invitation written on a bathroom wall
- You hold the hood of your car open with your head while you work on it
- You use a bungee cord as a seat belt
- There’s a belch on your answering machine greeting
- Your neighbour has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer
- You get mail sent to a PO Box because you can’t pronounce your street name
- You’ve ever had to move a car seat to make love
- Bass Pro Shop is forced to garnish your paycheck
- You think “wireless communication” means yelling across your front yard
- The most valuable part of your truck/car is the gas in the tank
- You’ve ever proposed over a pay phone
- You don’t go anywhere without a siphon hose
- You disguise your voice when answering the phone
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