You might be a redneck if….in Apr07

Thank Foxworthy for another good month of redneck indicators

• The uninvited guests at your family reunion were the SWAT team
• You’ve ever given a full set of NASCAR plastic cups as a wedding present
• You regularly check the brake lights on your house
• You’ve ever swapped shirts with a scarecrow
• The box your TV came in has also served as a clubhouse, a laundry basket, and a playpen
• Your yard has more than ten ceramic figurines
• Nobody else will touch your favourite cap
• The flowers in your bridal bouquet were plastic
• You always cancel the subscription and keep the free gift
• You’ve accidentally injured one of your relatives with a flying toenail
• There are crawfish in your home aquarium
• People drive by your house to look at your Christmas lights in April
• Part of your parole states that you are not allowed to own sheep
• Your wedding dress was leather
• You ever took a deerskin to a dry cleaners
• You taught your 3-year-old to give Jeff Gordon “the finger”
• You’ve skipped work for a sidewalk sale
• Your old washing machine is your new doghouse
• You think your dog is “house-trained” because that is the only place he will go
• You wrap up your older children’s outgrown underwear to give your younger child for his birthday
• Your local beauty salon also fixes cars
• The only thing that you have ever hit with a baseball bat is a mailbox
• You think the four seasons are onion, salt, pepper & garlic
• Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet
• You win the pickled egg-eating contest and nobody in your family will ride home with you
• You and six of your neighbours split a cable bill

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