You might be a redneck if….in Mar07

March 2007 rednecks will be nodding their heads in agreeance….

• Your wife’s work uniform has no top
• Your grandmother tried to hit a highway worker with a beer can
• You buy your cough medicine at the liquor store
• You go to the laundromat to pick up women
• Your doorbell is a dog
• Your landscape gardening features cattle skulls
• You think “dinner reservations” means they’ve seen your wife cooking
• You signed your marriage license on the hood of a car
• You traded your truck for a dog
• The grocery store manager has to ask your husband to quit harassing the lobsters
• You invite all your relatives over to see your new ceiling fan
• You test your car battery with your tongue
• You dress to impress no one
• Your honeymoon transportation was Greyhound
• Your wedding pictures have a propane tank in the background
• Your favourite pet is edible
• The diving contest at the family reunion was ruined because your pool went flat
• You idea of “getting lucky” is passing the emissions test
• The last time you went swimming they had to use the boat ramp to get you out of the lake
• You join a record club under a fake name
• Your hood ornament is a duck decoy
• The owner of a restaurant had to ask you to “please move away from the salad bar before you start eating”
• You often find stray animals in your living room
• You pick your friends based on their ownership of jumper cables

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