Christmas 2011 — Birth of a New Tradition

As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Australians with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods — merchandise that has been produced at the expense of Australian labor.

This year will be different. This year Australians will give the gift of genuine concern for other Australians. There is no longer an excuse that, at gift giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by Australian hands. Yes there is!

It’s time to think outside the box, people. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box, wrapped in OS produced wrapping paper?

Everyone — yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local Australian hair salon or barber?

Gym membership? It’s appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some health improvement.

Who wouldn’t appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, Australian-owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.

Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plunking down many dollars on a Chinese made flat-screen?
Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or games at the local golf course.

There are a bazillion owner-run restaurants — all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn’t the fancy eatery sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint. Remember, folks this isn’t about big National chains — this is about supporting your home town Australians with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.

How many people couldn’t use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the Australian working guy?

Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mum? Mum would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day.

The computer could use a tune-up, by a local repair business.

OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.

Plan your holiday outings at local, owner operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip. And, how about going out to see a play or ballet at your hometown theatre.

Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.

Christmas is no longer about draining Australians pockets so that China can build another glittering city. Christmas is now about caring about our country, encouraging Australian businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about other Australians, we care about our communities,
and the benefits come back to us in ways we couldn’t imagine.

Start an Australian Christmas tradition.

Forward this to everyone on your mailing list — post it to discussion groups — send it to the editor of your local paper and radio stations, and TV news departments. This is a revolution of caring about each other, and isn’t that what Christmas is about?

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Alice in Wonderland

As if Lewis Carroll’s tale of Alice in Wonderland were not colourful enough, Tim Burton comes along and recreates the story with his usual fabulous flair.

In this version of the story that has been told by so many, you’ll enjoy a mix of colourful costuming, reinvented characters and great animation. Top it all off with the ever-popular 3D phenomenon that is hitting cinemas these days and you won’t want to take your eyes from the screen.

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp make a stella combination in modern film-making, and add into the mix Helena Bonham-Carter’s quirky character and you’re bound to have a story well-told. Mia Wasikowska makes for a very enchanting Alice, bringing to the screen a sense of innocence and naivety. Her beautiful gowns throughout the film are bound to make every little girl green with envy.

Alice in Wonderland contains the perfect mix of drama, humour, suspense and adventure – not to mention the dark spin on the story as is Burton’s usual style – with a grand battle to complete the adventure, where Alice could be likened to Joan of Arc in her shining armour and angelic features.

My only complaint after seeing this film was with Anne Hathaway being cast as the White Queen. Don’t get me wrong, in my opinion, Hathaway is gorgeous and holds her own in the acting world, but I think her dark features (only exaggerated by make-up) contrast a little too much with the ashen complexion and aura of this character. I’m sure this was the intention of the film-makers but something about the aesthetics just didn’t quite work.

All in all, this was a magical tale that I would definately pay to see again, and again…..and probably again.

Checkout Alice in Wonderland on IMDB.

Get Your Racing Gear On

Plug in the details of your car, then your mate’s car and get racing….see who would measure up in a virtual drag race. As you can see below, my friend Deb’s Landcruiser is left behind in a cloud of dust from my X-Trail.

If anyone else is game to try their skill against my car, I dare double dare PHYSICAL CHALLENGE you!!!

The Importance of Communication

A  magazine ran a “Dilbert Quotes” contest, where they wanted people to submit their quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers/bosses. These  were voted some of the top submissions in corporate America:

1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.  (This was the winning entry, from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corporation in Redmond, WA)

2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.  (Lykes Lines Shipping)

3. How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?  (Programming intern, Microsoft IIS development team)

4. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.  (Accounting Mgr., Electric Boat Company)

5. This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.  (Advertising/Mktg. Mgr., UPS)

6. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.  (R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

7. My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn’t edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected.  (CIO of Dell Computers)

8. Quote from the boss: “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what ‘I’ say.”  (Mktg. executive, Citrix Corporation)

9. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, “That would be better for me.”  (Shipping Executive, FTD Florists)

10. We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.  (AT&T Long Lines Division)

11. We recently received a memo from senior management saying, “This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above.”  (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

12. One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, “If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!” (New Business Mgr., Hallmark Cards)

13. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company’s training programs and materials. In the body of the memo one of the sentences mentioned the “pedagogical approach” used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR Director’s office, and was told that the executive VP wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn’t stand for “perverts” (pedophiles?) working in her company. Finally he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired, with the word “pedagogical” circled in red. The HR Manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send to my boss, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out, directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation letter by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)

14. This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally-circulated memo from a large communications company: “Lucent Technologies is determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supercede, the expectations of quality!”

15. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.  (R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing /3M Corp.)

And if you have a manager or boss that could compete with some of these….ummm, less than impressive leaders, then checkout www.epicbossfail.com

Understanding Engineers….Take 9

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”

Understanding Engineers….Take 8

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, “I like both.”

The others:  ”Both?”

Engineer:  “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.”

Understanding Engineers….Take 7

Normal people believe that: “…if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

Engineers believe that: “…if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.”

- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

IN THE SLOT – TOWER OF POWER

Heard this awesome funk album today by a group I had never heard of.  For this reason alone I recommend everyone tries new things…listen to music you wouldn’t normally listen to, see movies you wouldn’t normally see and do things you wouldn’t normally do.  You may just surprise yourself. 

As it turns out, I’m racing out to buy this album as soonas I can hit the pavement and find a record store that stocks it.  Actually, on second thoughts, I’ll probably just buy it online now

Check out Amazon and have a listen to the funky soul sounds of Tower of Power – In The Slot.

Understanding Engineers….Take 6

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.

One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”

Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.”

The last one said, “Actually, it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”

Understanding Engineers….Take 5

Q.  What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

A.  Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.